My Story

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I was SHOCKED when I found out I was pregnant, a million thoughts went through my mind. I wasn't married, the father still had 3 more years to study, I just started a new job, and I had no medical. But I was already SO in love with my baby, even though I only knew of his existence for about a week (I just KNEW I was pregnant) I told the father, and he left me(...I'ts a very long story but he and his mom put me through hell!)

I had the 'perfect' pregnancy. No morning sickness and no grumpyness! I was just REALLY tired for the first month.
Even though it wouldn't have mattered I really wished for a little boy, and, at my 16week u/s it was confirmed, I was expecting a boy!!!I was beside myself with exitement, and started getting his things ready. A baby-blue cot, with a mosquito net, a 3wheeler pram, so I can take my baby with me when I go jogging, the sweetest little blue teddy suit, and so I can go on and on.

I felt him move for the fist time when I was 19 weeks pregnant, I was wearing the same clothes I wore before I got pregnant, and it was starting to get a bit small. I was watching TV with my favourate (might I add smallest) pair of jeans, and Jadon just started kicking for like 3 minutes, nonstop, untill I opened my button!!! Needless to say I went to the shop the next day to buy bigger clothes...
Every morning I'd wake up at 6:30, get ready for work, get in the car, and put my David Grey CD on, this is where Jadon would wake up, and give me a good- morning kick. It was almost like our little routine ( and he would always wake up at exactly the same time)

At 31 weeks I went for a 3D scan, but Jadon was still breech, and covered his face with his knees, and hands!!! I was very disapointed, as I wanted to give normal birth. So the nurse said she'll give him a week to turn, and then I can come back and have another one, for free!
The whole week I spoke to him, and told him to please turn for mommy, and I tried every trick in the book to make him turn, I even stood with my head lower than my knees for 20 minutes every nigth!!! And it worked!
I got to see my beautifull little boy in my womb!
An hour before going for the scan, I drank a Coke, and ate 2 Chocolates, to get him to move, and be active during the u/s. Well, Jadon had other plans, he slept throught half the scan, and when the tech finally got him to wake up he kicked her hand away! And then started sucking his knee! That was SO funny, the sweetest thing to see my little boy so mad! After about 10 seconds he covered his face with his arms.

37 weeks into my pregnancy is where everything went wrong-
I worked for a wonderfull lady, after hiring a replacement for me while I was on maternity leave, she left for a business trip to Australia, and I had to train the new girl. Part of the job is client service, so on the first day of training I took her to all our clients. I had to drive as she did not know the way, and it's about 50km from our work place. When we saw our last client, we started to head home. 5Km from the client I was standing behind 2 cars, waiting for the robot to turn green, when a taxi hit the back of my car. The taxi was speeding ( the limit for that area was 60km/h) and he didn't break AT ALL!!! If you look at my car (witch only had 25000km on) you'd see what a miracle it is that I got out of the car alive, with just a few bumps and scratches (my pasanger also only had acouple of bumps and scratches) If I turned around in my front driving seat, I would have been able to touch the taxi's (a combi) front window! My air bag deploid, onto my pregnant belly (but it did save my life), and my placenta got a tear. The tear was VERY high, like right under my lungs, and it was very small. So no-one noticed it. They did an ultrasound ,and Jadon was fine. I had blood in my urine, but they said that it was just because I got a hard bump on my lower back.

Now a normal hospital would keep you in for observation for at least a week, but because I had no medical, the public hospital let me go the same night. I could barely walk, my back hurt so much. I went to my Gynea the next day, and he sent me for 48 hour observation at another public hospital - they only kept me for 12 hours!
By Saturday morning my back was still hurting just as bad, and I went to my GP, who gave me a Voltarin injection (which really worked). Sunday morning at about 2am I started noticing that my water was coming out- not a whole gush, just little bits at a time (no contractions). We phoned my GP at 8am, and he said that If it gets worse I need to go to the hopital, otherwise I could just go Monday morning. So Monday ( a week after the accident) morning we went in. ( because the Voltarin injection made my contracted muscles relax, it gave the water a chance to get out through the tear) They induced me ( I had no contractions) at 12 PM and I had Jadon at 2:40am Tuesday morning. 7 Pounds 27 ounces and 50 cm long. He was BEAUTIFULL. He had the sweetest little cry I've ever heard!
It took them some work to get him to breathe, but he did his APGAR was 7 @ 1 minute, and 9 @ 5 minutes. My mother gave him to me after a while, and I didn't know what to say, I just stared at him, in awe and he was just crying & crying. After a couple of seconds my mom said "Talk to him" I just didn't know what to say, I said "Hello, you're so beautifull" and as soon as I started talking, just for a second he stopped crying, got the cutest frown on his forehead, and puckered his sweet little lips. HE RECOGNIZED MY VOICE! That was the proudest moment of my life!

BUT my water was infected. So they took him to NICU for antibiotics. (I went to live with my mother after the accident, and she was with me during the birth.) She went with the Dr. to NICU while they stiched me up. The doctor told her that it looks like he might have a haert problem, but he'll be fine, so with that assurance I was taken up to my room to get some rest.

At 6am Tuesday morning I woke up. The nurse asked me if I was alright, and I said I'm fine, but no-one's told me anything about my baby yet. She said she'll run down and check on him. At 6:20am she came back and asked me if I could walk, I said I'll try, is my baby ok? She said I have to speak to the peadiatritian. I asked her again IS MY BABY OK? And she just said NO (with the sadest expretion I've EVER seen on anybody's face)...I went down, and while in the elivator I kept thinking over and over 'Please tell me my baby has a haert defect, or brain damage, or ANYTHING. Just don't tell me he is dead'

When I got to NICU they took me to a seperate room where I was told that Jadon had Just passed away (6am) They braught him to me, and left the room, about 5 minutes later all the nurses stood outside my room, and sang a Christian song in Ndebele. It was so beautifull, and I never thought that this kind of pain would be possible! Everytime one of the staff members would talk to me, or come into my room they would cry. Even six weeks later, when I wen't back to get some of Jadon's Medical Papers, everytime I'd talk to someone they'd start crying, even if they didn't know me. Apparently everyone knew what happend to my baby!!! It was very touching, and it gave me comfort to know that while I couldn't be by his side, he had a lot of caring people around him.

I talked to the head dr. at the hospital. She told me(after some crying)that the cells in his lungs and haert, that they originally thought was malformed, was in fact not- He was born with Congenital Pneumonia which he got because my water was infected for quite a few days before he was actually born, caused by a small rupture very high in my placenta which I got when the taxi hit me- The water only started leaking out 5 DAYS after the car crash. She said that this specific type of infection is VERY HARD to diagnose, but that if you look back at the symptoms it makes sense - Usually the babies are of to a good start, but within the first few hours they start doing worse & worse. She said otherwise he was perfect, there was absolutely NOTHING WRONG WITH HIM!!

If I wasn't in that accident, my precious son would still be with me today...

My Mom is a Survivor

My Mom is a survivor, or so I've heard it said.
But I hear her crying at night when all others are in bed.
I watch her lay awake at night and go to hold her hand.
She doesn't know I'm with her to help her understand.
But like the sands on the beach that never wash away...
I watch over my surviving mom, who thinks of me each day.
She wears a smile for others...a smile of disguise.
But through Heaven's door I see tears flowing from her eyes.
My mom tries to cope with death to keep my memory alive.
But anyone who knows her knows it is her way to survive.
As I watch over my surviving mom...through Heaven's open door,
I try to tell her that angels protect me forever more.
But I know that doesn't help her or ease the burden she bears.
So if you get a chance, go visit her...And show her that you care.
For no matter what she says...no matter what she feels.
My surviving mom has a broken heart that time won't ever heal!

~author unknown


On 12 November 2007 Jadon became a big brother!! My husband and I are proud to introduce Jon-Phoenix our little Rainbow baby.

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